Prenatal Classes People!!

All l&d nurses will attest to the fact that our patients and their family members occasionally come in assuming that they know more about this process than we do... Now, if the unlucky patient happened to draw the short stick and got a brand new nurse for their shift, they may be able to accurately claim the title of "resident expert". HOWEVER, the majority of the time you are going to have a person who has "seen a few"... thousand or so...!!
So bear with us if we heave a sigh when you start explaining to us why you don't want your water broken or pitocin started because you "want to see if your baby can do it on her own"... when you came in for an induction that day! Your baby is happy where she is, you WILL have to serve an eviction notice if you want her to come out today!!
A couple weeks back, several of us were sitting at the desk awaiting a full-term, primigravida coming in with complaints of her water possibly leaking. We have a strategically placed mirror that allows us to see who or what is coming down the long hallway that leads to the unit. Helps us to prepare occasionally and ALWAYS assists in our "desk assessment"!! :)
So, here comes a middle aged man dashing down the hallway, lugging two overstuffed pillows in one arm and dragging a huge suitcase with the other. His eyes are wide and scared as he skids to a stop in front of our desk, leaning over the ledge he gasps, "my wife **** is here, where is her room!!"
We glanced at each other and then deadpan back at him, "did you bring her with you?" He blinks, swallows and looks over his shoulder to check. Sure enough, down the hallway waddles a very pregnant middle aged woman with a slightly sour, determined look on her face. She comes to a stop in front of us and announces loudly, "my water is breaking now and it has been for the last TWO hours, where is my room!"
We smile politely and her nurse ushered her to her waiting room. She proceeded to inform her nurse that, "no, she hadn't taken any educational prenatal classes, because she watches lots of maternity ward and baby story on tv", and then proceeded to detail her LONG list of demands, educating the nurse on what was to be expected.
Thankfully, she progressed quickly and several hours later was ready to push and deliver a baby. During the pushing process which was painfully long because she couldn't figure out how to push effectively, she repeatedly asked her nurse, "Can you see my anus bulging when I bear down" - the poor nurse almost choked from trying not to laugh out loud!!
Sometimes, no matter what we do or say, how much we attempt to accurately educate and inform patients and family members - it just isn't enough! If you don't intend on listening to your labor nurse (even if you DO intend on listening but still want to be involved in your care), please, please, please make it easier on ALL involved - take a prenatal class!! Tv EDITS!! :)